The Jude - Violin and Mandolin
Despite being the only musician in the group to actually be able to play his instrument well, Jude is surprisingly humble. All he asks is that his band mates don't share his side of the stage. Or look him straight in the eye. Or speak to him.
Michael the Tubist - Tuba
Despite the many bands vying for his attention, Michael chose to beat out dozens of other tuba players for Bourbon and Bellows' coveted "guest musician when he is home from University" spot. When has the tuba and accordion ever created anything but the classiest, most danceable music?
The Other Ben - Percussion
Blessed by God and his parents with one of the greatest names in the world, Ben chose to squander that gift by studying percussion. While he surely could have been a movie star or US president, at least the band's lineup is blessed with one more superior moniker to counteract other, lesser names.
John - Trumpet
John is not just the only musician here with actual academic credentials in music, he's also the only one that benefits from being full of hot air. The rest of band can only stare in awe as John creates stunning music instead of just creating amazing sarcasm like the rest of them.
Esteban - Trombone
Effortlessly doing the work of two trombones while never being offended by disparaging songs sung about his instrument, Esteban is truly a team player. He has come to a standing arrangement with the band: Esteban constantly slays solo after solo, and the band never mocks him for his conspicuous lack of valves.